Kestrel / Courtship Ksutre

by Kerrin Gaile and Alystrian Imbrilea

For those unfamiliar with the term, "Ksutre" is a Kestrel word that means "a collection of instructions" or "a collection of instructional or educational books". A Ksture is usually a set of instructions or several sets of instructions that are to be memorized and/or carried out. Although Kestrel courtship practices have varied through time and from locale to locale, an amazing number of them were followed very precisely. Dedication to rituals and ceremonies of courtship is readily evident in many old texts.

This book is based upon lengthy research through many sources on the subject. It is written as both an academic exploration of courtship practices as well as an instructional manual on how one particular set of rituals and ceremonies might be exercised by people today. In this spirit, this book has been written as a Ksutre.

Most of the research has uncovered that Kestrel courtship was actually a whole series of rituals and ceremonies performed over a lengthy period of time, not just one single event. Because they are from long ago, much of the information was in the context of arranged pairings and marriages. Much of this has been translated into a more modern context here in this text.

Only faint vestiges of the original rituals are left in modern ceremonies anymore. In fact, few modern courtships are formal in nature. The language of the source materials is from long ago and some colloquialisms from those times are difficult to translate directly into today's language. Sometimes approximations have had to be used.

In some Kestrel communities today there is no such thing as divorce. In fewer still, a Kestrel bereft of his or her mate never remarries. While the former is much more prevalent than the latter, both are still in practice in certain communities today.

There are references found in ancient writings to a rite known as Scepti. In this rite a married male and female fight what can be equated to a modern honor duel with each other. It appears that sometimes a champion for each side fought in these duels and other times it was actually fought by the pair themselves. Whether these contests were fought to the death or not is unclear. The basic result was that the victor could declare the marriage null and void. This essentially made it as if the union had never happened. In older times this was the only way some Kestrel societies would allow what amounts to a divorce. Today, no Kestrel communities are known to follow this practice.

Some Kestrel communities are matriarchal in nature while others are patriarchal. During a courtship the dominant matriarchal/patriarchal side of the relationship can call off the pairing at any time. The other side must usually petition and often compensate the dominant side in order void the arrangement.

Throughout the various courtship rituals and ceremonies food was regarded as very important. It was held as a sign of the future success of the union and is present in nearly all documented courtship practices.

Research has turned up that rituals and ceremonies were performed in a variety of fashions. Most of the time the actual actions performed for each ritual was left up to the betrothed couple. In this way each courtship was distinctive and personalized, both in deed and detailed meaning.

What follows through the remainder of this text is a series of Kestrel courtship rituals and ceremonies. They progress through:

Their original context is explained and original interpretations are explored. Specific examples of how each ritual was performed are difficult to come by. So, modern examples created with guidance from the original texts are provided where possible.

Ritual of Realization

In arranged marriages this ritual is performed upon the first news of betrothal. In non-arranged marriages it is usually performed to contemplate and confirm the first thoughts of long term, dedicated commitment to the other person.

Each prepares and performs a private ceremony alone, separate from each other and away from all others. It signifies the start of the courtship and confirms that each is devoted to the journey they are about to undertake. Most rituals of realization include that which is important to the person performing their own private ceremony. Their hope for the future is also a common theme.

Some view the ritual of realization as involving a bit of selfishness for focusing upon each individual separately and away from the other. An alternate take on it is that it allows the two individuals to focus on the few things that mean the most to them and project them forward into the relationship with the other person. For, in the future the couple will be a pair as well as two individuals. It is a strange thing; two individuals becoming one. And none of the three should become lost in the others -- the two individuals and the pair together forming a total of three.

Included below are the transcripts of two Rituals of Realization. They are modern interpretations based upon the old literature.

  Ritual of Realization conducted by Alystrian Imbrilea
  Ritual of Realization conducted by Kerrin Gaile

Ritual of Provision

The Ritual of Provision is usually held as a large banquet hosted by the male's family. In the context of arranged marriages it is the first formal introduction of the couple to each other and to both families. In non-arranged pairings it serves the same purpose in that it is a formal meeting for the couple. Both families attend this event.

First the male is introduced to all present and performs a ceremony consisting of dances, songs, and symbolism to demonstrate that he is capable, has the ability to succeed, and will be able to provide for his family to be. Then the female is introduced and performs a ceremony echoing the same themes showing that she is his equal in ability to meet whatever the two may encounter in their life together. In some instances of this ritual both perform at the same time, complementing or contrasting with each other as they blend together their individual performances. The practice varies from locale to locale.

After the performances, the two are formally introduced to each other and sit together throughout the banquet. They are essentially on display for both families to observe.

Once the banquet is over both families go their separate ways. Usually they will discuss the day's events and comment on the couple.

Included below is the transcript of a Ritual of Provision. It is a modern interpretation based upon the old literature.

  Ritual of Provision conducted by Alystrian Imbrilea and Kerrin Gaile

Ritual of Acceptance

The Ritual of Acceptance is usually held as a large banquet hosted by the female's family. The couple is again formally introduced to both families.

First the male is introduced to all present and performs a ceremony consisting of dances, songs, and symbolism to demonstrate that he is honored to accept the invitation into the female's family. Then the female is introduced and performs a similar ceremony to show that she is honored that he has accepted her invitation. In some instances of this ritual both perform at the same time, complementing or contrasting with each other as they blend together their individual performances. The practice varies from locale to locale.

After the performances, the two are formally introduced to each family once again and sit together throughout the banquet. They are essentially on display for both families to observe.

Once the banquet is over both families go their separate ways. Usually they will discuss the day's events and comment on the couple.

Included below is the transcript of a Ritual of Acceptance. It is a modern interpretation based upon the old literature.

  Ritual of Acceptance conducted by Alystrian Imbrilea and Kerrin Gaile

Ritual of Adversity

While this is a simple and straightforward ritual it requires the steadfast courage to knowingly and voluntarily do something that is both difficult and unknown. Each of the pair separately undertakes a task of their own choosing that is difficult to succeed at. And, the task must be something that the person has never before attempted.

Each must them make a presentation to the other regarding what they attempted, how they went about it, and whether they succeeded. This presentation usually ends by explaining what they have learned and what it means to them.

This particular ritual demonstrates the ability to face new challenges and life changes and to take on that which is known to be difficult. Unlike the previous rituals, this one is not merely for show. It requires action.

  Ritual of Adversity conducted by Alystrian Imbrilea and Kerrin Gaile